I had the opportunity to preach in a celebration of the sacrament of matrimony. The marriage was of no ordinary kind. The couple had been civilly married for fourteen years. Despite their civil marriage, they thought of receiving the sacrament of holy matrimony.
According to Plato, humans originally had four arms, four legs, and a single head made of two faces. Humans were so strong that they threatened to conquer the gods. The gods wanted to destroy them but ceased to do so for fear of losing the tribute they receive from humans. Zeus thought of splitting humans into halves that would weaken them and would double the humans who would give tribute to them. So it happened. Humans were split into halves. And only when the two halves find each other, they can be whole and strong again.
By the standards of the Greeks, this couple was already complete, and ought to be satisfied in their marital relationship. But still, they felt their union is incomplete. Though it was functioning and had borne three daughters, their relationship was incomplete.
They rightly pinned point that which is missing: the grace of God. Knowing this, they had attempted to be married in the Church for three times. For some reasons, they were impeded for three times. They never stopped pursuing and attaining God’s grace in the sacrament of holy matrimony. Thus, came the day they were married. The joy manifested in their glowing faces was inexplicable, after all, that marriage was fourteen years in the making. The grace they received could not be contained, moving them in tears. Finally, with Christ and His graces in their midst as a couple, their marriage is complete.
St. Augustine once said, “Our hearts are restless until they rest in You (Lord).” This is true not only in our individual search for meaning in our life. It extends to our relationship with our fellow human persons. Our relationships are restless until they find rest in God; until God rest in our relationships; until Christ becomes the center and foundation of our human relationships. This leads us to the fact that in every successful relationship there would always be a third party: God. It is not limited to a You-and-I bond. For a relation to remain firm, despite the hurly-burly of life, it has to be solidly grounded on a sure foundation. And Christ alone is our rock.
With Christ present in a relationship, though it may be buffeted by suspicions, pounded by challenges, it will remain standing through the life-principles and graces that Christ imparts. With the teachings and commandments of Christ serving as guiding stars, topped with His very own presence as the steersman Himself, we can be assured that our love boats would reach the port of heaven. With Christ in the rudder of our relationships, even the most hellish marriage, responsibilities, and commitments can be heaven here on earth.
In the gospel (Lk 7:11-17), the touch (of presence) and words of Christ brought back to life an only son of a widowed mother. To lose a husband more so a son, one after the other, cause unimaginable pain and suffering to a woman. Thus, to have her son brought back to life is a cause for unimaginable joy to a mother. Her purpose to live was restored.
The presence of Christ made manifest in His touch, in His words, in His graces in our life, bring forth life, bring us forth to a complete life. When Christ touches us and speaks to us, we experience the fullness of life. And so, it is in anything and anyone that is honored by Christ’s presence. A life graced by the Lord of life is a life that begets life. A relationship graced by the Lord who is love is a relationship that will surely beget love. That is His grace at work in us to make us whole (again); to make us holy (again). What an honor?!? What a privilege?!?
The honor and privilege Christ bestows upon us behoove us towards a mission. The graces accompanying Christ’s presence (in the sacraments and other means) are powers that enable us to be whole; to be holy. But the graces we received are not meant for our own sanctification alone. Our Christian life always possesses a social dimension. The graces we receive sanctifies us, that in turn, we may sanctify others. As Christ brings us to life, we too ought to bring others to life (in Christ). And is this not the goal of every relationship, of every marriage, of every friendship? A husband leads his wife not to nag about unattended chores, and vices, but to cause her to utter kind words. Parents lead their children to become saints through words and examples. In our relationships, with Christ in our midst, we seek the good and holiness of others. We bring them forth to life (in Christ) as Christ has brought as to life.
In life, we long to be complete. Thus we seek for others that will complete us; our better half. We establish human relationships, and for many, marry. But still, our life, our love, and our relationship long to be complete. We remain incomplete until Christ grant us the privilege to grace and honor our life with His presence. As Christ brings us to a life of wholeness and holiness, He gives us a mission: to help others to be brought to the same life (in Christ); to be whole; to be holy.
That is the essential for a successful marriage.
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