SAYING YES TO JESUS

What have we received after answering God's call? Yesterday, I literally spent my whole day, from 6 am to 9 pm outside my room, doing ministries: celebrating the Eucharist for a dead member of our community, lecturing on the life of St. Dominic to my brother postulants, accompanying our students in the Colegio in their Intramurals, and attending our community meeting. Many of the brothers today got various kinds of sickness, from brain tumors, cancers, heart ailments etc. after years of administering to various people in their different capacities in our apostolates. What have we received after answering God's call?

I remember, when I was discerning to enter the Order, a brother sent me a letter that says: If you say YES you cannot marry, but your life will be filled with love; You cannot keep wealth but your treasure will be immeasurable; You cannot have your own time but you will be fulfilled. It is a vocation slogan he borrowed from the OMI. It speaks of the reward that one will have as one responds to God's call to serve Him. Saying Yes to God is saying yes to a life of sacrifices; to a meaningful life. Though it may not be as relaxing as other ways of life, it is surely a rewarding one.

Like St. Peter, we too might say, "We have given up everything to follow you, Lord." Christ replies "You will be rewarded." In the midst of our difficulties, as we struggle to be faithful to our answer to God's call, God consoles us with the Joy brought by our ministries; joy brought about by the people we meet, students we accompany; the community (our brothers and sisters) whose presence is a treasure to hold on to. Our vocation is God's gift to us. It is itself our reward. It is also the greatest thing we can offer back to God for all the good things He has done for us.

As I lay my tired body on my bed, I immediately fell asleep. But I slept with a smile on my face, realizing how blessed I was to be God's instrument to His people. 

GOD IS WAITING FOR YOUR RESPONSE

When I received my new assignment in Calamba, I had initial doubts and hesitations in accepting it. It is not because the community of brothers there is unbearable. Far from it, it is considered one of the best we have in the Province. The reason behind my fear is the ministry of the brothers assigned there. The community ministers to a College, making education their primary apostolate. I saw myself unfit and unprepared for this kind of ministry. Yes, I taught some courses before, but education apostolate is more than teaching. It involves management as well. I never held an administrative or financial-related office back in the seminary. My initial questions and thoughts were: What will I do there? I know nothing about CHED and DepEd's regulations. I have no experience in managing financial matters. When my new assignment was handed on to me, I was given a few minutes to decide. I accepted it, in faith and obedience. Since then I never had a single regret for doing so.   

We receive a lot of assignments, tasks, missions, and roles in our lifetime. In our life as Christians, we are constantly invited by God to follow Him: to live a holy life in accordance with His will. We may perceive ourselves unworthy and weak for this vocation towards holiness; incapable of loving the most unlovable, relying solely upon Divine Providence, faithfully obeying His plan for us etc. But who among us can claim to be worthy of his vocation; that it is his right to assume the mission God bestows upon him? Isaiah had unclean lips. Paul was a persecutor of Christians. Peter was a fisherman who caught nothing despite his efforts to fish overnight and confessed that he was a sinful man. With the standard of God, no one, by the merit of his own strength, can step forward and assert himself as one fit for the life which God has given.

God calls us not because of our strength, not because we are qualified, perfect, sinless, unspotted or unblemished. Even when we respond, God knows in the future that we will fail Him. We will commit mistakes and sins. Christ knew Peter will betray Him three times and will be cowed by the persecutions in Rome. He called him nevertheless and made him the Rock on which His Church is built.

God is calling us in spite of our fragility and brokenness. We all have weaknesses and shortcomings, but God calls us nevertheless, for He desires one thing: that we may be with Him, and that we may be strong and whole again. We can respond in two ways: We can focus on ourselves, on our weakness, and on being unqualified; or we can embrace the call God is giving us and focus on His grace and mercy that would qualify us and perfect us for this life. Would you focus on your weakness and own strength? Would you rather trust and obey God? How do you respond to His invitations?                

We may be tempted to think that it is impossible to be his faithful disciples because of our weakness. Isaiah, Paul, and Peter had weaknesses and sins. They never focused on their iniquities but on the grace and mercy of God at work in their lives. Through the mercy of God, they realized that they are more than their sins and brokenness; that they can love in as much as they are beloved by God. It is not so much about their own powers and capabilities, but about the One who called them to the life they lived.

In responding to God's call to follow Him and be holy, we may have our reservations and fears based on our self-perception or on the things unknown to us. As He calls us, He tells us: Duc in Altum. Cast into the deep. You do not know what is there in the deep. You do not know where God will send you or whether you can do it or not. Answer and obey nevertheless, for it is the Lord who calls us and assures us that he will be with us all as we plunge ourselves into His will and plan for us.

Trust God. Rely on Him more than in our own abilities (for many times we had been disappointed by our own capabilities). Obey Him. Our journey in responding and doing his will may lead to suffering and death, but God promises eternal life for those who follow Him. It will never end in a Calvary but will lead to resurrection and eternal life.

God is waiting for our response; for us to open our mouths like the prophet Isaiah; to let Him take over our boats and nets like in the case of Peter. God is waiting for you to let Him enter into your life. Isaiah, Paul and Peter had considered themselves inferior, unworthy, and not qualified. But because they allowed God to touch their lives, they were transformed in becoming his prophet and apostles. God is waiting for you to cast into the deep, unknot the rope and sail to unfamiliar seas towards the port of heaven. 

VOCATION AS A WORK OF GOD

As Jesus moved on, he saw a man named Matthew at his post where taxes were collected. He said to him, “Follow me.” Matthew got up and followed Him.

Is this not too simplistic vocation story? It presents to us the basic elements of a vocation story: God calls, and Man responses. But in between these two events is a process. In could be a split -second process in our hearts. In could be years of thinking over and over again whether to respond affirmatively to the invitation of Christ to live a holy life; to live in a particular way of being Christian. This is discernment. 

In the process of discernment, we may doubt about ourselves whether we are worthy and able to faithfully live the life God is calling us into. We question God’s call. We question our vocation. These questions are often in opposition to our vocation: What if I do not have a vocation? What if I am called to a different life? Can I be faithful to this life? A priest counseled me, “Ask questions in favor of the Lord: What if God is giving me this vocation? What if God is calling me to this life?” Our vocation ought to be oriented towards God, not to an “I.”

As we discern to the life God is calling us into, we have in the gospel (Mt 9:9-13) the story of Matthew, a sinner, considered refuse of their society. In the other gospel accounts, the evangelists would not dare to name him by his common name Matthew. According to St. Jerome, they name him Levi out of respect to him. Matthew calls himself both by his common name (Matthew) and described himself as a publican. No one, even the most sinful person, needs to despair of salvation, as long as he turns to better things. We see this in Matthew who became an Apostle from a Publican.

As we turn to Christ and respond to his call, the light of Christ shines upon us and our true worth is revealed to us; our worth as God values us. The worth of ourselves and our vocation depend on the One calling us, more than to ourselves alone. We are called not because of our worthiness to receive, but because of the generosity of the Giver. God calls us because He wants to give something to us. God calls us to leave our earthy gains; to stand up from our tables and receive such a gift of vocation.

As Christ looked and called Matthew, Matthew returned the gaze of Christ. He promptly stood up and followed Him. His response was not out of haste and temerity. He saw in Christ’s merciful eyes his (Matthew’s) true worth, his vocation not of his own worthiness and doing but of God’s. As we try to follow Jesus, we sometimes experience frustrations, loneliness, and failure. We become sad and angry in the vocation we live. It is so, for we have seen our vocation as our very own work, our personal project. We look at ourselves. We forget that God is the author of our vocation. He is the origin and end, and all that is in between, of our life. When we begin to take credit for the things we do and relay solely to ourselves, we begin to be frustrated. We would always find something lacking, something wrong in what human hands do. We find no reason to celebrate about our own works, which always fall short of the standard of Christ. In Christ alone, at works in our lives, we can celebrate (whatever would the result be. His presence is enough reason to celebrate.).   

More than an act of man, our vocation is a work of God. That is if we allow God to work in us. If only we would look back at Christ calling us, we shall be drawn to Him and receive Him. Though the discernment of our response might take long, the Good News is, Christ never stops calling us, looking at us, waiting for that moment that you will return His gaze. He is waiting for us to return his gaze. In Christ, we find the strength and courage to stand up and fulfill His will. Only then we can prepare a banquet for the joy of vocation, we have received from and live through the Lord. 

STANDING ON THE RIGHT PLACE

God gives us different responsibilities that rightly correspond to our capacities. He does not give us a burden that we cannot handle (1 Cor 10:13). He has a tailored fit plan for each of us.   There are no generic formulas only special treatments. Every person is special, unique, unremittable, for God has a unique plan for each of us; married teacher, consecrated lay, a nurse who later became a nun, a chemist who found God in the chemicals he mixed, and billion other unique stories. Though many, all these are united to His overall plan of salvation for man. In these responsibilities God entrusts to us, He demands fidelity and commitment. Christ speaks of fidelity in commitments we make; fidelity in marriage (Mt 19:3-12); fidelity in God who cares for us (Ezekiel 16:59-63).

In all that we do, we ought to plant our feet and stand firm, but be sure you are standing in the right place (A. Lincoln). Thus, before committing oneself to a relationship or a responsibility, think about it a hundred times. Think, assess if you can accept and fulfill its demands, feel whether it is for you.  

Why do we betray God or the persons to whom we have committed ourselves? Why would a spouse look for another partner? Why would a priest leave the active ministry? Why would parents give up on their children? Sometimes, we fail to dedicate our whole self on the things we do, on the life we live, because in the first place it is not for us. We embrace something that is not meant for us, something God never intended for us. You entered medical school because it is what your parents wanted, but your heart beats for architecture. You never wanted to have a tattoo, but since everyone in your circle has, better have one. You keep on insisting to run the family business, but you never had any inclination in accounting. You have always been good at dancing but you keep on singing just so you can compete with your siblings. As we embrace things which are not meant for us, we experience difficulty, sadness, dissatisfaction. We may achievements from time to time, but there is a part of us that is unsatisfied. And we try to fill that part with something else; with incongruous things in the life we have embraced. Without us knowing we lose track of the life we have embraced, and of the life, we ought to embrace. We become unfaithful. We break our vows. All these because, in the first instance we fail to discern what is meant for us, what is God’s plan for us.     

When we realize what life God is calling us into, we experience joy, though it may demand sacrifices. The responsibilities in our vocations that God gives become more than chores to be fulfilled but means towards perfection, holiness, a joy in the Lord. Though how burdensome other people may see our responsibilities, there is an inner force that motivates us to continue. There is a meaningful purpose that inspires us.  

Should you grow weary in bearing the responsibilities in your life, pray that you may remain faithful! Beg the good Lord to give you strength to carry on, to remain enthusiastic (be full of God).

St. Hyacinth is a Polish Dominican priest. In the midst of burning church, Hyacinth was able to carry the Blessed Sacrament on one arm and a heavy alabaster image of Our Lady. Hesitant to carry the heavy image, as he admitted that he could not carry it by himself, he heard a voice saying “My Son will lighten the burden.” And so, he was able to carry the heavy image and brought safely out of the burning church. The life of St. Hyacinth teaches us that there is no burden too heavy for us to carry if and only we admit our weakness and humble enough to ask for help. As God’s entrusts us with various responsibilities, He never meant we shall go solo. He establishes a Church, a community, a family who would strength each other as they live the life God has given to them. We can do things joyfully with the help of others, especially of God. Our community helps us to lighten each other’s responsibilities.  

May we remain faithful and committed in the life God has given to us. May we plant our feet and stand firm on the right place God appointed to us.