STEPPING OUT FROM THE SHADES OF FIGS

Once we had a dog in our convent who found joy in chewing or destroying things. He would chew slippers of priests, tear upholsteries of couches, and know many ways to damage precious stuff. When we are away, he is in a search-and-destroy mission. When brothers confront him, he would bow and turn away his head from the brother scolding him. Often, he would run away and go in hiding to evade the sermon he is about to receive. He knew he sinned, but would not admit it, and would even deny it, and run away from the responsibility his sins incurred. Dogs reaction on the offenses they make is not far from our reaction on the sins we committed. Sin brings forth shame as it is something shameful. Remember how Adam and Eve hid from God in the garden of Eden?

In the gospel (Jn1:45-51), Nathaniel was under a fig tree. St. Augustine comments on the meaning of the fig tree: We read of one fig tree which was cursed because it had only leaves and no fruit. Again, at the creation, Adam and Eve, after sinning, made themselves aprons of fig leaves. Figleaves then signify sins; and Nathanael, when he was under the fig tree, was under the shadow of death. 

Under the fig tree, there was doubt and hesitation in Nathaniel. Sin hinders him from going to the Lord. So it is with our sinfulness. Sin puts us under the shade of darkness. Its darkness disables us to see ourselves as Christ sees us. Sin distance us from Christ; from the light. Sin fails us to realize our real worth. Under the shade of sin, we doubt whether God will forgive us. We question the immensity of God’s mercy for us. Sadly, sometimes, we enjoy being in darkness, thinking this is the best situation we can be. And we continue sinning in darkness. Notice, most sins are committing in darkness, in isolation, away from the presence of others who may admonish us in the first instance we attempt to sin. So, we sin, thinking no one sees us, but Christ says; I see you under the fig tree.

The words of Philip to Nathaniel can be the words of God to us too: Come and See. We can only see in the presence of light. Without light in our eyes, we cannot see. Without light around us, we cannot see. There is no light for a blind. Thus, being in the light is surely far better than in darkness replete with deceptions and make-beliefs. We can only truly see ourselves in the presence of the Light. In the light, out of the shade of sin, we can be true to ourselves; we can see ourselves without pretensions, devoid of fear and shame. We can be the way Christ sees us. More than becoming the object of our sight, God wants us to see Him, eye to eye, that we may be able to see our real worth through our reflection in the eyes of God. As we approach Jesus, we come to know our true value, as men and women of grace more than sin; as persons forgiven by God and beloved by God. This is our worth and value. This is how God sees us. 

Before we SEE, we have to step out of the shade of sin that keeps us in darkness. We have first to answer God’s invitation, COME, come into the light, come into God’s presence. And we shall see.

Can you SEE? If not, you might need to step out from the darkness and into the Light!

UNDER OUR FIG TREES

When we received a good news we cannot but share it with others. When we heard that our brother won an international song writing competition, we cannot but share the joy we felt. We shared it via social media accounts. We made a music video of the song. We kept on playing the song in our conferences and events. We are very proud of this good news and we share it to others. In the gospel, we can read how Philip shared to Nathaniel (also known as Bartholomew) the Good News he (Philip) had received. He had found the Lord. Every day is an encounter with the Lord, our salvation. Every day we hear and receive the Good News. We receive the Lord in His Word proclaimed and in the Eucharist. But have we shared Him with others, or in the first place, have we truly seen and received Him as the Good News of our life? For if we see and receive Christ as the Good News; as the Salvation of our life we cannot but share This Good News; this Very Good News. Together with Philip we can say to others “We have found Him.

But truth be told, it is not us who found the Lord, rather it is the Lord who had found us under our fig trees. The fig is the third tree mentioned in the Scriptures, after the tree of knowledge of good and evil, and the tree of life. For St. Augustine the fig tree refers to sinfulness and death. We read of one fig tree which was cursed, because it had only leaves, and no fruit. Again, at the creation, Adam and Eve, after sinning, made themselves aprons of fig leaves. Fig leaves then signify sins. Thus when Nathaniel was under the fig tree, he was under the shadow of sin and death. This disable him from seeing the Lord. But even with Nathaniel’s failure to see the Lord because of his sinfulness, the Lord saw him. Even before Philip and Nathaniel found the Lord, the Lord found them.

As the Lord found us, He also found out our own follies and sinfulness, our defects. Despite of weaknesses, the Lord chooses us to be his disciples, as he had chosen Nathaniel to be his Apostle (to India). He chooses us to be earthen vessels carrying treasure of great price (2 Corinthians 4:7). We are wounded. We are poor. We are inexperienced. We are fragile. But the Lord loves us. We are loved by the Lord. And His love is enough to heal our woundedness, to fill our emptiness, to handle us carefully as we carry the Treasure of great price. But even we such assurance of the Lord we have to decide to answer in the Lord’s invitation to be His disciple, to be proclaimer of the Good News. Some may see themselves unworthy to carry out such noble task. Others may be too afraid what others may say against them; Is he not the son of a farmer from Barrio Maniwangtiwang? Can anything good come from his place? Stephen Chbosky wrote in his novel The Perks of Being a Wallflower: We cannot change our past, but we can choose where we are going. Even if we don’t have the power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where we go from there. Our defects, weakness, bitter past, ought not to hinder us from responding to the Lord’s invitation to be his disciples. Despite of our faults, we can still throw our lots to the Lord, because even before we do so, He had already threw His lot to us.

Lord, you have found us under our fig trees. But despite of that, you have loved us and called us to be your disciples. Grant us Lord the grace to respond to such call, the way Nathaniel responded to your call, without being hinder by the past, but determined to embrace the future you are offering. Amen.