Hosting or
attending parties can be tricky. You can make it or break it as a host; slay or
disappoint as a guest.
Once we were
invited to a religious family gathering. Weeks before the dinner, the hosts
sent invitations with an RSVP (please answer), to require confirmation of an
invitation. Some did reply while others did not. During the event, the tables
were assigned to specific guests who confirmed their attendance. However, some
guests who did not reply to the invitation attended and occupied the pre-assigned
tables. To make things worse, they removed the nameplates of those properly
assigned to those tables. While they were seating comfortably and waiting for
the program to start, the guests who were properly assigned to the tables they
occupied arrived. They demanded their tables as the ushers informed them that
those were assigned to them. The no-reply guests began to complain, as there
seems to be no order in the party; why would guests already seated be asked to
stand and move to other tables? These no-reply guests would even point out the
absence of nameplates on the tables they occupied (which in fact they had
removed the moment they sat, knowing that the tables were not assigned to
them). A commotion followed. Until the hosts, together with the head usher who
held the guest list, approached the squabbling guests. In the end, the guests
with the reply to the invitation were properly seated. The guests who gave no reply
were asked to stand at the back part of the hall. And the order was restored in
the event.
Anxieties and
disturbance arises whenever there is a disorder that emanates from lies and
untruthfulness. The no-reply guests could have easily avoided the trouble they
caused in the party if only they were honest enough to admit and accept that
they did not have assigned tables. And so it is in many pains and unhappiness
in life. They are all caused by lies chosen over truths.
In the gospel (Lk
14:1, 7-14), Jesus urges us to be humble guests and kind hosts. What does it
mean to be humble and to be kind?
Humility is more
than being the lowliest (Lt: humilis); being soil (Lt: humus). Humility directs
man to his origin. It is about the truthfulness to his identity; pagpapakatotoo,
living by the truths about himself. Do you have a talent in singing? Then sing.
If you can stir a group towards its desired goal, then lead. If you deserve
that seat, then take it, if not then don't. As the book of Sirach (cf. 3:17-18,
20, 28-29) says: What is too sublime for you, seek not, into things beyond your
strength search not. The guests in the wedding feast attended by the Lord (Lk
14:1, 7-14) were choosing the places of honor at the table. Is it a fitting
obligation and task of the guests to determine their place in the event where
they were invited? Who assigns the seats for the guests? Is that the truth of
the identity of the guests?
Others would shy
away even from the things which they know they can do, in the name of humility
or for some other reasons. Timidity can be a vice that may lead man to false
humility. When one does not acknowledge the truth about himself and does not
use what was given to him, then disorder and anxieties follow. When parents
live the life of bachelor and bachelorette, disregarding the truth in their lives
as parents, their children are neglected. Humility is living by the truths of
one's life.
Knowing the truth
in one's identity and capacities lead to gratitude towards the Giver; God. One
recognizes that all these (one's talents and goodness) come from the Lord, that
the Lord deserved all the credit and glory. In front of the majesty of God, we
are nothing. Without God in our life, we are nobody. That is a truth about
ourselves; a truth we ought to live by.
When man deviates
from the truth about himself, and seek something that does not belong to him,
he ceases to be humble and becomes proud of himself. But he is mistaken, for
left on his own, he is doomed to fail, regardless of how smart and wise he
claims to be. He may be led to the chief vice of pride. And pride (the opposite
of humility) changed angels into devils, while humility is what makes men
angels (St. Augustine). When man becomes proud of himself and removes God from
the picture, he begins to be like demons who claim to be gods themselves. By
being humble (recognizing the truth about ourselves in relation to God), man
saves himself from useless anxieties that may be caused by lies and
deceptions.
Humility leads to
kindness, as bridged by the known truth about oneself. Knowing that whatever he
has comes from the generosity of God and that he is nobody without God, man
begins to be charitable and kind to those considered by the society as
nobodies; the poor, for man himself is a nobody. To be kind is to see others as
someone of one's own (Old English: kin); of the same kind. To be kind to the
poor, the crippled, the lame, and the blind is to realize that they are of the
same kind as oneself. That is not a difficult task for a humble person who
realizes the truth of his being a nobody (without God in his life). Knowing the
feelings of the destitute, one will move to act. He is to do something not out
of vainglory. He desires that the misery suffered by his kind be alleviated. He
invites them to the feast that he enjoys (the banquet of truth in the presence
of God).
From being
invited (as a guest) by the Lord, transformed to humility by the truths of his
identity, man can be a kind inviter (a co-host) of the poor, to the banquet of
the truth of the One True Host: God.
Will you be kind?
Will you be
humble?
Then know the
truth about yourself!
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