I had a friend
who once experienced a crisis in his vocation. Upon knowing this, his mother
visited him in the seminary. Seeing and embracing his mother, my friend cried his
heart out. Moved by the tears of her son, the mother uttered "Ano anak,
gusto mo na bang umuwi? (Would you like to go home?)
Home is place of
acceptance, affirmation, and love. When one finds life troublesome, we go home
and rest on the lap of our mother or be comforted by our father's embrace or be
encouraged to go on in life by our siblings. In Filipino, home is “tahanan”: a place where one stops to
cry.
But sometimes,
home can be a violent place too where one may experience rejection and
discouragement. When I told my family that I would be entering the seminary, my
grandmother expressed her disbelief. She knew me as one who often stayed at the
window of her house, unceasingly looking at passersby. Perhaps she thought I
was too eager to meet the girls in their neighborhood, and therefore may not be
able to fulfill the rigors of a chaste and celibate life of a priest. Years
later, after entering the seminary, I came to know that she was able to say so
because she knew a lot of priests from our place who ended up being unfaithful
to their vows. She was concerned that far from becoming holy, I might end up
becoming a sinner.
Our family always
takes our goodness into consideration. At home, people desire what is best for
us, though sometimes we might not understand them (or they might not understand
us). Thus, discouraging statements may ensue.
When we enter the religious life, others may see us as crazy or out of our
mind. Why should one waste his talents and youthfulness in a monastery? We are
misunderstood.
The good news is
that we will find a home that welcomes us and understands us. We will encounter
in our life people who will encourage us to keep chasing our dreams and
vocation. Timothy and Titus found in Paul a brother with whom they were truly
at home with through Paul's letter of encouragements, fanning the flame of God’s
gift which they had received. Ultimately, God prepares for us a home in His
heavenly kingdom where no one will be misunderstood, but everyone is encouraged
and accepted.
When my friend's
tears subsided, he replied to his mother: "Ma, I don't have to leave the
seminary. I am home." He is now a priest at home in our community.
May we find
ourselves at home wherever and whoever we are with right now.
If not, may we
find our way back home.
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