An Evaluation of the PSI (Psycho-Spiritual
Integration) Program facilitated by Emmaus Center for Psycho-Spiritual Formation (Philippines)
Search Results
I went to Baguio with a firm and resolved heart that I am
fine; that I do not have any personal problems that I could not handle. I was
wrong. As I underwent the meticulous process of PSI, of unraveling the fibers
of my very own life, I realized I have problems too. And that is fine, in fact
that is pretty normal to us humans. We all have problems, issues, if you want
to call them as such. But the more important question then is not ‘Whether you
have problems or none?’ rather it is ‘Whether I acknowledge and honor my
problems, issues or not?’ To acknowledge and to honor the totality of our
selves, I believe, is one of the core values of the PSI experience. Often we
are afraid to admit some truths in our lives, preferring to project a flawless
and perfect image to others. But we do not have to. Ours is an imperfect world.
We do not have to be otherwise, especially, if in the process we deny our real self,
our true selves in exchange of a mask, a fake self. Such is a complete failure
of acknowledging and honoring one’s self, with all its problems and issues. It
is in this context, of acknowledging and honoring ourselves that true healing
can begin.
The main framework of the program evolves around the
Freudian psychoanalysis; on the conscious, sub-conscious, and unconscious.
Initially, I was hesitant to join the program or even to actively participate
with it. I am a firm believer of each person’s capacity to transcend his past
experiences, to overcome traumatic events in his life. No one deserves to be
boxed (compartmentalized) by the wounds of his past. A person is more than his
past. With much faith, I still joined and participated in the program. And I
was glad that the second part of the program discussed well what I believe man
is capable of; transcendence. An important part of this process of transcending
one’s self from the life-events is to undergo the tiresome and sometimes painful
process of going through those events, needs, desires, etc., again and again,
until one is able to accept them, learn to own them, act upon them with much
discernment. This part of the process of transcending is often neglected,
hastily done to avoid confrontation, and to fulfill our natural tendency to
avoid pain. But one must undergo these processes to allow understanding, and
healing to commence; genuine healing, which are prerequisite for transcendence,
overcoming the past to be able to live the present.
The program was given to us, post-STB brothers. And I think
such move is proper and opportune. As brothers being prepared to the final
ditch of formation before ordination, we were given the opportunity to look
into ourselves, to our motivations, needs, tendency etc. that can be of great
help in an ordained life and ministries. We were tasked to open ourselves, our
stories, our wounds, our brokenness, to see the challenges ahead of us, but
without the danger of being melodramatic because of the degree of maturity
present within. The knowledge and maturity of the participants allowed the
implementation of the program in a more serious tone, bringing out the optimum
result of self-integration.
The participants of the program came from various male and
female congregations (Dominicans, Vincentians, Passionists, Carmelites,
Diocesan, Poor Claires, Verbum Dei, Good Shepherd, etc). And I think this setup
has its advantages. It enabled us to interact with other congregations,
establishing friendship, sharing of common and unique experiences in the
formation and ministries. Congregational values were shared among us. It made
possible for to us to recognize the beauty of their spirituality and way of
life, more so our very own spirituality. But the richness of the experiences
shared resonates not only from the novelty of each congregations but also from
life experiences of the participants, whose ages range from 21 to 66 years old.
I came back to Santo Domingo disturbed, disturbed from
complacency, from being satisfied the way I easily handle my personal problems
and issues, hastily seeking automatic answers. I am disturbed by the knowledge
that I have my own imperfections and brokenness. I am disturbed. But is not
disturbance what we pray for to the Lord? When we become contented on things
that can still be improved, we pray for disturbance. When we stagnate on a
particular phase of our life, when we thought it is the best and we refuse to
move on, we pray for disturbance. When we think that the Lord has no room in
our lives for we have done all things well, we pray for disturbance. When we
believe that everything is right, when in fact it is otherwise, we pray for
disturbance. And as we pray, the Lord gently disturbs us from our blindness and
deep slumber to look into the realities and truths about our lives; truths that
we have to face in order for healing and growth to take place.
I went to Baguio with a firm and resolved heart that I am
fine. I came back to Santo Domingo disturbed by the knowledge that I have my
own imperfections and brokenness. I am disturbed but I am neither worried nor
in despair. I haven’t process my personal problems and issues yet (Sixteen days
is not enough). But at least I know now where to begin with. And this time, in
the right way and at the right place. The PSI provides handles through which we
can hold on as we try to acknowledge, honor, accept and discern the things
about us, in our lives. These handles are pivot tools as I venture to my quest
for that inner fire. The PSI is over, but the real quest only just began.
